On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
My breasts were aching with rage.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
