Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
My penis needs a shock collar
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
