Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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