If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
