She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
