i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize