their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
