I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
