he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
