It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
