And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
