I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I want to be your penis for a week.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
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