i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize