I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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