oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
