About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
