I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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