it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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