Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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