omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
