At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
