Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
