hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
