Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
My penis needs a shock collar
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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