DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
