I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
