I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
