I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
