Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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