On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
it's like heaven, but drunker
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
