I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
