Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
