I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
