I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Do vagina's smell?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Randomize
