Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Someone came in the potted fern
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
