ya dads aren't the best wingmen
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
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