Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
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