Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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