Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
