Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize