i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
