All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
