he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
