Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
