I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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