My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
