I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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