my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
