Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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