Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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