I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
