he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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