I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize