Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
