i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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