And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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