You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
This gyro tastes like lonliness
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
