I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize