I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Randomize
