I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
