im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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