I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Randomize
